Yoga Hosers

One of the most committed feature-length goofs you’ll ever encounter. Clearly, there was never any intent to make a serious film here, so the viewer has to match the spirit of the piece in order to get the most out of watching it. That calls for viewing this flick with a persistent smirk on your face and not much in the way of critical examination in your mind. For sure, the humor here runs the gamut from silly and clever to breathtakingly stupid, so you really can’t go in looking for greatness. And the missteps in the story, while gargantuan, are ultimately forgivable given the obvious lack of seriousness. (This movie would have played much better if it had been a simple ghost or monster story, or even just a straightforward slasher pic, but the actual backstory is just downright ridiculous and dumb—the sort of thing that happens when you’re overly dedicated to making movies while being totally baked.) All in all, though, if you play it loose and silly—as does everyone in the cast, including title protagonists Harley Quinn Smith and Lily-Rose Depp, who add beaucoup de cuteness to the mix—then you’ll find yourself having a lot of fun with this pic. That is, unless you’re Canadian, in which case you may be mortally offended by the film’s (mostly) gentle but relentless teasing. But the rest of us can just sit back and spend 90 or so minutes enjoying some entertaining if ultimately meaningless fun. And that’s aboot all there is to it.

Tusk

Strange bizarre and unexpected, as old Mr. Ripley used to say. Everything I ever heard about this movie--even from the creator himself via his podcast--was that this one is a piece of shit. Imagine, then, my surprise in finding that this flick actually isn’t all that bad. It is eccentric, to be sure, but there’s plenty of solid movie-making here; apparently, Kevin Smith was not so baked at this poing that he couldn’t direct a competent flick. (No guarantees for today.) The most intriguing aspect of this strange work is the competing oddball performances by Johnny Depp and Michael Parks. They provide many layers of interest in their contributions, even if Depp's Quebecois accent has a habit of showing up and hiding in equal measures. I wouldn’t go so far as to say this a good movie, but...awful? No, not really. Just really, really weird. Too weird for most, but I think it works for a niche audience. There’s even, dare I say it, some intriguing philosophical musing at work here, which might just make this story something to ponder even after its running time has been spent. I guess it goes to show, from the most unpromising ground, sometimes something unique and intriguing can grow.

Gonzo: The Life and Work of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson

The most notable thing about this doc: its ham-handed use of music. The story of Hunter S. Thompson's life and work should certainly be more memorable than that, and that's hardly the full assessment here. Alex Gibney retells The Doctor's tale comprehensively, to be sure. Much of what has already been told, and will be familiar to any fan who has read most of Thompson's oeuvre, and in particular any of the works of biography that came out before this work (release date 2008), but it's always nice to go through a refresher once in a while, particularly for a writer as important as the subject here. The most essential takeaway from this examination comes, perhaps, from Thompson's ex-wife Sandy, who notes that Thompson's eventual departure prevented who knows what further impact he might have made. Certainly, Thompson in his prime could have made a difference, both against W. Bush and especially in today's America. One can only imagine what he would have made of, and done to, Donald Trump. Alas, we'll never know, because by the end the Dr. was just plain burned out on being Hunter S. Thompson, both the man and the myth. At least we have this work, and his writings, to keep that flame burning.

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

This movie is not an interesting failure, but its failure does include one interesting element, or at least one interesting moment. It comes late in the proceedings, when--ever so briefly--a provocative point is raised, one that could conceivably turn the entire story on its head. But then they just settle for the light show, and all that goes by the board. Which is par for this course; the entire rest of the movie is a muddle, hard to grasp what's really going on, why it matters, where it fits in the (one assumes) larger scheme. And the ultimate payoff comes across mostly as a "huh?" Rowling does not seem to have the big picture figured out (she's listed as the writer, so this really falls at her feet). An empress who has no clothes should probably know when to duck indoors, and based on this effort, one has to say now would be the time. Enchantment lifted, for sure.

Murder on the Orient Express (2017)

A mystery that has long since been solved is no mystery at all. Hence, if you're making a remake of a mystery movie--especially if it is perhaps the most famous mystery of all time--then obviously that film has to be about something more than solving the case. So it is here, where the heart of the exercise comes in the form of style and personality. Director and lead Branagh comes through in both aspects, delivering a visually sumptuous film while also crafting a lively and fun version of Hercule Poirot. The rest of the cast acquits themselves well, too. The only real issue lies in the writer, believe it or not. Christie's plot and solution, seen through the perspective of a lack of surprise, is frankly absurd and something of a cheat. But, again, this outing is not really about the solution anyway. Go ahead and board the train; you'll have a good enough trip for your ticket price.

Corpse Bride

Wow. When The Nightmare Before Christmas is the "normal" cousin, that's one weird family. Both that work of genius and this film bear a familial resemblance, though the younger relative is not quite the achiever that the elder cousin is. This one has a lot of the same visual inventiveness, the same mix of jokes and drama, and is mostly entertaining throughout. The only real problems here are a certain unevenness in the musical numbers; with this outing soundtrack master Danny Elfman tries to broaden the range of song styles, which only creates a certain choppiness rather than a smooth, unified score. Mostly, that's a quibble; there's more than enough good stuff here to make this flick a fun time.

Rango

Yeah, OK, I can see it. I mean, there’s nothing super profound here, but you do get an entertaining animated movie that has some good laughs, fine visuals (including some nicely clever visual references), and a relatively standard though still compelling Western style story line. I’ve seen worse stuff tossed out there under the cynical, “you’ll watch anything animated” philosophy; this film rises above that. Worth a look.

Dark Shadows

I don’t know; this Depp-Burton thing may have run its course. Not to say that this is a bad movie, but at certain points in this picture you get the impression that maybe someone else, singly or in a pair, could have brought something better to this revision of the old TV show. There are good moments here, some nice satire of the period (a good idea not to set the action in current times), but by the end the filmmakers have gone overboard; a little too much trying, not enough just leaving it alone and letting it be. You want to applaud effort, but not so much effort that it gets in the way.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

It seems that movie producers will never learn the lesson: they're not better/smarter/more inventive than the book writers who serve as their sources. Certainly not better than Roald Dahl. This version of Dahl's classic takes too many liberties in introducing Wonka's backstory, and makes the character less a fascinating enigma and more just plain weirdo. The changes detract from what is otherwise an admirable effort--especially in the other side of the dyad, where the story makes clear what a hero Charlie Bucket is. The kid really did deserve his very own chocolate factory.

Lost in La Mancha

This is interesting, if you are very much into movies and movie making, but I have trouble imagining your average person being interested in this. The story is compelling, especially in the midst of things going to hell (fighter jets, hail storm, an ailing actor), but some of the "crew argues amongst themselves" scenes can be hard to track in the larger scheme. If you're a Terry Gilliam fan (hand raised here), or, again, if you're an "inside" person when it comes to film, you might appreciate seeing how everything went horribly wrong on one particular shoot, it's worth a look. But I suspect most folks can comfortably let this one slide by.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street

Occasionally too over the top, but the film brings us nice direction from Tim Burton, beautiful cinematography, and just the right touch of insanity in a surprisingly effective story. All in all, we'll call it a fine mess.

The Libertine

Not exactly a laugh riot, though it has its moments. Hell, it's damn near impossible not to have 'moments' in a Johnny Depp film, and this one delivers a couple of nice ones. But they're too few and too disconnected to add up to a good flick--especially when the ending is as much of a downer as you have here. A nice try, but ultimately not really worth it.

Edward Scissorhands

And now you know my secret shame: it took me this long to get around to watching one of Tim Burton's best movies. What's to be said? It's like looking back at the moment when Johnny Depp really became a star, when Winona Ryder was still the next great thing. Mostly, it's just a wonderful movie, a modest fable about an outcast and how he stays that way, despite a brief interlude of acceptance. Whether you want hope or despair, you can find equal doses here, and you'll enjoy what you get to the fullest.

Secret Window

Even the presence of Johnny Depp seems not to be enough to save this film during its uneventful first two thirds. But then things get interesting, as Depp gets nutty, and the ending is something to...uh...savor. Give it time to do its thing, and you'll be rewarded.

Finding Neverland

No, not a "Best Picture" movie. That doesn't mean it's bad. Quite the contrary; I found this to be an effecting movie--well-made, well-acted, and worth the price of admission. Of course, I have a particular interest, being an enormous fan of Barrie's "Peter Pan" (in its book form, at least), so the story held special significance for me. However, there are a few "not quite" elements here--some clunky exposition of Barrie's symbolism, trite interactions between characters--that pull the quality down just enough to keep me from raving. It's not "top of the mountain" great, but it's certainly good enough.

Chocolat

Cute, mostly. It gets devalued some for indecision about what it wants to be (specifically, some awkward transitions from comedy to drama), but I don't want to fall into the trap of damning due to high expectations. This is, succinctly, a good movie, and that should be enough. But not worthy of a Best Picture nominee; it must have been a slow year. (NOTE: this is the Juliette Binoche/Johnny Depp/Judi Dench movie; there's another Chocolat out there, some movie about a chick returning to Africa. That other Chocolat is boring as hell. Don't be hoodwinked.)

From Hell

The Hughes Brothers win points for ambiguity; the ending is neither happy, nor sad--it just is. Of course, movies about Jack the Ripper have a built in unhappy factor. This one touches on the most prominent suspects--the Duke of Clarence, Dr. Gull--and represents the period fairly well. On the other hand, Johnny Depp and Heather Graham are unconvincing as Victorian Londoners. Tread with caution: there's some serious gore here.

Blow

Surprisingly poignant story about drug dealer George Jung. A movie which intimates--despite abundant evidence around us to the contrary--that crime really doesn't pay. Worth consideration.

Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas

Tough to screw up one of the best books of the latter half of the twentieth century, but they did it. Everything is just a little bit off here; Hunter S. Thompson's weird behavior--which comes off as hip counterculturalism in the book--just looks like pointless stupidity here. A disappointment.

Don Juan Demarco

Johnny Depp having fun; Marlon Brando showing he can still act (if not move). A cute movie, probably good for a date (not that I'd know.)