Terminator: Dark Fate

An early scene features a whole chase sequence through Mexico City destroying cars left and right...and not one vehicle’s horn was playing “La Cucaracha.” That’s just bad production values. So much for what this flick lacks. What it does bring to the screen includes most of this franchise’s typical palette: a familiar scenario, featuring familiar characters from past outings, the standard warnings about technology going mad and traitorous—it’s not like they’re wrong about that—and, of course, a planet-sized helping of violence and mayhem. It’s remarkable that the formula works as well as it does after all these years and episodes, especially considering some earlier missteps in the series. This is still perfectly decent sci-fi, competently executed and entertaining, if not exactly groundbreaking stuff. If it winds up being your fate to have a couple of empty hours to burn, it won’t be any kind of apocalyptic disaster if you spend them watching this movie. 

Predator: Badlands

We’ve come a long way since Ah-nold was rolling around in the mud in Central America. I confess that I am much out of date as far as this franchise is concerned. I didn’t even know going in that it had been folded into the ever-metastasizing Alien-Blade Runner universe. So there’s quite a bit here that was new to me. What is not new—indeed, it has become a reliably predictable trope—is the phenomenon of the monster from an original story sooner rather than later becoming the hero insubsequent iterations of the franchise. So we have it here. That plot trajectory makes this film a target for skepticism right from the start, and for sure, many of the movie’s early details lead the viewer to question the premise and execution of this work. You get a lot of stuff that follows the “wouldn’t it be cool if…” line of thinking—note to would-be filmmakers: generally, no, it wouldn’t—without much evidence that any real inspiration went into the production beyond that initial thought. What saves the proceedings from full-on ridiculousness is a certain level of cleverness in the action sequences, as well as some unexpected wry humor in the characters’ interactions. So while I can’t make the case that this movie is particularly great, I must somewhat grudgingly admit that it holds the attention and entertains throughout. Nothing here is groundbreaking—this is treading on ground that was thoroughly broken long ago—but you can watch it without feeling like you have wasted your time. It’s like you’re bringing home the measliest hunk of meat you could find, but nevertheless, it goes into the books as a successful hunt. 

The Fantastic Four: First Steps

Maybe if this film had been made and released two decades ago, before the entirety of the superhero splurge, I might have watched it thinking, wow, they really made something amazing here. But we cannot undo these things we’ve done, as someone once said, and the effect of having seen superhero group after superhero group after superhero group save the world again and again and again cannot be easily nullified. As it is, no amount of interesting conceptual design, or nostalgic kicks, or even just plain, good storytelling and performances, can get this work to break through against all that has come before it and lead the viewer to anything more than mild appreciation, to a diminished admiration that battles against a flattened sense of what a movie like this is supposed to be. It’s fine, really; all of the above mentioned elements are well done, and if you’d never seen another entry in the genre you’d probably rave about this one. But few of us out here are infants without prior experience, so the impact of this iteration is very much dulled. More standard than fantastic. 

Despicable Me

I resisted this movie for a very long time. It just never seemed like a work that had much to offer me and my taste in films. Maybe that had something to do with the over the top marketing tie ins etc. well, I can now report that…I wasn’t entirely right, but I wasn’t entirely wrong either. The movie is at its strongest when it is focused on individual elements: sight gags, one-liners, slight satire. There are good moments sprinkled throughout its run time. But the overall story is weak and utterly predictable. Worse, in a story where the main characters are villains, every outcome is soft and pulls the punches. No-consequence cartoon violence is one thing, but this stuff here is for babies. Despicable? More like docile. That may fly with the toddlers (both actual and mental), but not with me. 

Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning

Sic transit gloria cinema. If this really is the end, that is. What was in many ways the most unlikely of top-level movie franchises—in story, in execution, in star power, in sheer quality of execution—has apparently reached its denouement with an outing that is, perhaps, not the best of the series, but one that is representative and certainly full of entertainment value. You don’t really need to fret too much about the story here; this installment is continuing a thread that has been building for around three episodes now (and arguably grew out of the details of the entire series, as the movie makes clear with numerous self-referential flashback montages)--and all that really takes a back seat to the typically audacious stunt sequences anywat. Tom Cruise is very much his usual self here: strong, on-point, and totally in control of his character and environment (and he is deserving of accolades for clearly being a driving force in making this franchise what it became, which is a film series that far exceeded any reasonable expectations). The supporting cast does good work, too, including fine goodbyes to stalwarts Ving Rhames and Simon Pegg in their definitive roles, as well as solid performances from the rest of the crew--including Pom Klementieff in a role where, oddly, she speaks only French but apparently understands English in amazing detail. But hey, we’re not here to quibble; this stuff is all about a fun times at the movies, and this flick mostly pays that off, without ever descending into self-destruction. That’s a good mission to complete successfully—and here’s the proof. 

Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore

This movie requires you to cast a spell of your own: [waves wand] “Explainitous!” Really, it’s hard to know what is going on in much of the first quarter to a third of this movie. The production seems to rely on the audience being so deeply invested in the wizarding world that they will instantly know who everyone is and what they are doing without any particular explanation. Alas, some of us actually have lives, and have not seen the previous installment in a few years, so a lot of the early scenes inspire head-scratching by the rest of us. The story improves in the clarity department as it unfolds, but it does not necessarily do so in terms of being interesting or clever. The overall tale is a muddle, and that’s not helped by a quantity of ham-handed metaphors for real life situations both historical and present day. Some of the magical effects are clever and entertaining, but there are also scenes where the viewer anticipates certain visuals that never come to fruition. Imagination is supposed to be the core quality of this franchise, so it’s not a good sign when the audience is out-imagining the filmmakers. I was overly harsh about the original series and its installments, so I feel uncertain about truly laying into this outing in the franchise’s adjunct storyline. Maybe I just don’t get it, or I’m too old, or who knows? But I can’t bring myself to recommend a movie that comes across as so disjointed, and poorly conceived, and—and this is the same complaint I have about the later outings in the core story—just not all that much fun. Come on, people—enough is enough. 

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

Well, that’s that. As Marge Simpson once said, “It’s an ending,” and I suppose there’s little more to say beyond that. One has to assume that every single person who has ever watched this movie—or indeed any outing of the series—knew before sitting down how things would play out, so there were no points to be scored through surprises or reveals. So this project had to stand mostly on feeling, on how well it captured the vibe of the publishing phenomenon. And I think it did a good job at that. But I remain touched by the sense that the overarching story’s turn from fun to dark, not to mention vaguely tragic, ultimately represents a kind of literary—and by extension cinematic—stumble, if not an outright failure. The latter term seems too harsh, so I guess it’s best to declare that the author painted herself early on into a narrative corner, and simply had to carry it through to the end. Fortunately, there remain further dimensions of the film to appreciate, most prominent being the fact that you get to spend one last time with characters (and actors) you’ve come to like and admire, maybe even love—though this sort of finality always brings a touch of the bittersweet with it. We must go on without Harry, Hermione and Ron, plus certain others (I'm partial to Luna). At least we can always pick up a book and give it another reading, if the separation proves unendurable. Thanks, kids, not for making magic, but for being it. Farewell. 

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

You know why these books were so popular? They were fun. At least, for the most part they were fun. This movie? Not fun. Not saying “bad,” but emphatically not fun. This is more like watching The Revenant, or maybe even A Boy and His Dog, than watching a big-budget, tentpole fantasy production. That makes evaluating this entry in the series a bit of a puzzle. Again, it’s not bad, but it is so far away from where the saga started that you can’t help but feel that the rug has been, if not pulled out from under you, then at least shifted while you were standing on it. The dark turn of the story was inevitable, one supposes, given the tale's very linear plot; there really was no other way to go. The rapidly-aging kids do a good job with the difficult material, and the presentation is well done all around, yet this film ultimately leaves this viewer, at least, feeling like the ride he's getting is not the one he wanted. We know where it’s all going, of course, and perhaps the last act will ultimately be redeeming—will pull off the ultimate trick, as it were. 

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

More of the same, with perhaps a bit more charm—the personal kind, not the occult kind—as the story moves more into the realm of teenage angst and romance. The strength of the series lies in the inspired casting of the principal characters: the leads grow, figuratively and literally, throughout the films, and especially in the viewer’s heart. You really grow to care about these characters as the story progresses, and that is a credit to these then young actors; they may have seemed out of their depth in the first episode, but by this point they really came to inhabit their characters. You want them to win, and, if the story comes to a somewhat straightforward and perhaps unimaginative end—most of the imagination went into forming the world of the tale—that’s all right at the end of the day. Perhaps finding that you can care about fictional characters is the real magic. 

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Interesting to note about the books: as the series progressed, the publisher simply stopped editing Rowling’s text. That’s why the books got bigger and bigger with each entry. (That, and they realized they could charge more for heavier tomes.) That presents a problem if you’re adapting them into movies. Sprawling texts are problematic but viable in print, whereas including everything, kitchen sink and all, won’t work for a movie. Thus, some parts have to be left out, and you start to see that effect at this stage of the series. Some characters and subplots—or at least plot elements—are eliminated noticeably here, for the sake of avoiding a four-hour film. Those excisions don’t necessarily hurt the story—arguably, it improves the tale’s overall flow—but fans of the series will recognize the absences. Still, this outing provides an experience consistent with the rest of the series, and as we established in the earlier reviews, this enterprise achieved its goals, if little more. Meaning: a satisfying experience for almost all viewers. Presto cinemo! 

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

It occurs to me, only at this ridiculously late stage, just how dark and ominous and at times downright sad this story is. Shouldn’t really be a surprise, that; after all, the saga begins with a double murder. But that through line is buried much deeper in the first few episodes. Here, it rises up to become substantially more prominent, with the result that this outing is a lot more effecting (at least for those who remain capable of honest emotions anymore). Most encouraging in all this is that the lead performers show improvement with age here, despite my having besmirched them in the original reviews; the kids are really quite good. Notable, too, is the work of the supporting players; British acting has a remarkably deep bench, as it were. Lastly, I wish to note one aspect of these flicks that should never be overlooked: the visuals are wonderful. The scenery—both the real and the fake—looks fantastic all the way through, and represents a note perfect representation of Rowling’s vision. (Not that she invented Britain’s gothic landscape—she just put it to very good use.) Going forward, it becomes more and more apparent that this series was done about as well as it could have been. A neat trick, when it comes down to it. 

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

I was probably too harsh when I reviewed the first two movies in this series. Of course, that was some twenty years ago, and I was much younger then, and must have had some sort of bee in my bonnet. Ironically, now that I’m old I find it easier to be forgiving toward a film intended for children. That’s not to say I think this is a masterpiece, by any means. There still are some issues with the presentation here, particularly around certain characters being too predictably themselves, which is to say, too one dimensional—but that really traces back to the source material (the books). The plain fact is, this flick serves its purpose, which is to bring to life a much loved story with as much fidelity as fans could possibly expect. It’s watchable and does its job. Maybe not a work of wizardry, but hardly cause for damnation, either. 

Jurassic World: Rebirth

Memo to all screenwriters: giving your script’s unfamiliar characters a set of background sob stories does not make them automatically sympathetic. That constitutes one of the large problems with this movie: you don’t really have much sympathy for the group of mercenaries who form the core of the cast, so whatever is going to happen to them comes across from the start as low-stakes. Things are mildly better with the vacationing family, who at least come across as relatively innocent and thus worthy of the viewer’s consideration. Perhaps the story should have opened with them, and then there would  have been a rooting interest from the first scenes. As it is, it’s only well into the action that you start to care about what happens to these people. (Except the sociopathic corporate type, who practically has “dino food” tattooed on his forehead.) The aforementioned “action” is the key element here; the action set pieces are the most effective elements throughout the film, more so than any individual plot point or character or even the creatures themselves. Whereas once upon a time the identifiable species were the real stars, this outing mostly features a bunch of weirdo hybrids that are scary, yeah, but have no real personality or charisma. (The best sequence in the whole flick may be the one that features the good old-fashioned T. rex.) Mix it all together and you wind up with a competent but not all that compelling franchise entry that mostly makes you wonder, “When is this thing going to go extinct?” So long as no one comes up with a better idea, the answer to that question should be "now"— but the real-world answer will be, alas, "not anytime soon" (if there's money to be made). 

The Naked Gun (2025)

Amusing, mostly. This flick is more a collection of moments rather than a cohesive comedic story. You could say that about the original police squad show and its sequel movies too, but they tended to hold together better than this work. Of course, those shows had the benefit of coming from the Zucker/Abrahams team, who were demonstrably comedic geniuses, whereas this film comes from a group of mostly nobodies. The difference in pedigree may be the source of the problem, as there’s just something missing in a lot of this plot; generally, the jokes take too much time to land, and then the movie lingers on them too long. These guys don’t seem to understand that a film like this requires a machine gun approach, not being satisfied with a good line or visual here and there. Liam Neeson and (particularly, maybe surprisingly) Pamela Anderson do the best they can with the material, and there are a few moments of laugh out loud hilarity—including one sequence that’s actually cribbed from an Austin Powers movie—but not enough good moments to make it seem like this reboot was all that necessary. If you’re looking to be a screw up, you’d better be a great screw up—otherwise, everyone will think you just don’t know what you’re doing.  

Superman (2025)

Sometimes, it helps to be old. Just not this time. If you’ve been around a while, you’ve seen so many iterations of this character that you can’t expect anything particularly new in yet another outing for the Man of Steel. So going in, if you’re not a child, expectations for this flick are low. That actually works to this pic's advantage, as it means that, if nothing is really screwed up, the odds turn heavily in the movie’s favor. And that’s mostly how it works out here. There are enough fresh elements in this presentation—most notably, the expanded context of Supe's story, including some decent supporting work from some slightly off-brand heroes—that even the weariest viewer will get a few kicks out of these proceedings. The film does include a few missteps—today’s Lois is not quite all that, and there’s a notable bit of condescension in the depiction of the Kents as flyover yokels—but ultimately, the story gets back to the core of the title character’s appeal: his choice to be one of us, not one above us. That rap has played well for almost a century now and it never really gets old…even if those of us who have seen it all before keep putting on the years. Oh, yeah, and the dog is fun, too. 

Thunderbolts*

We’ve come a long way…um…babies? You have to be forgiven if, upon watching this installment of the MCU, you find yourself contemplating the Marvel movies of yesteryear and how invigorating they were, whereas this flick evokes, largely, little more than a “huh?” reaction. Oh, sure, there’s entertainment to be had here, including both a fair dose of humor and an appreciable overarching metaphor about overcoming abuse, in addition to the standard action tropes. But…the history does not disappear, and the influence of the past weighs heavily upon this “new” venture. The sense that this is little more than a photocopy of a degraded original—a vibe that is even acknowledged in the film itself, at least at the ending—is hard to get over. At least the cast of characters features a mostly likable group. Reservations aside, an honest assessment says that this movie is good enough to watch, and the studio seems determined to move forward with its plans, so maybe we can just keep an eye on things and see if something truly enjoyable develops down the line. Stranger things have happened, even within this very franchise. 

The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim

Oh, so that’s why I never got into anime. The plain truth is, with animation, no matter how pretty are the pictures you draw, at the end of the process the characters are simply cartoon characters. That’s fine for certain types of stories, but for others the animation treatment trivializes the project. So it is here. This telling of the Tolkien substory simply lacks the gravitas that Peter Jackson’s original trilogy brought in spades. This should hardly have come as any surprise, as earlier animated versions of the main LOTR story had the same problem, and were largely confined to the memory hole until the iconic live-action movies came along and revitalized interest in the old man’s masterwork. So this deck of drawings was stacked against itself from the start, regardless of the visual innovations brought by the Japanese masters of the form. On its own terms, this flick plays it relatively straight—there aren’t too many of the physical absurdities typical of anime, especially as regards to the fight scenes—which is a good thing, and tells a tale that contains a solid amount of interest, even if it is at best tangential to the main story of Middle-Earth. (Not that the script doesn’t make at least token [Tolkien?] efforts to tie this piece into the overall story thread.) One major plus is the depiction of the main (and made-up for this movie) character of Hera, not just as a story persona but also because she is presented as a smokin’ hot redhead (those anime artists definitely know their way around drawing females). Still, this script is otherwise fairly true to its source material, so a fan can’t complain too much. As noted, there was once a time when the idea of a major movie release based on LOTR would have been absurd, so best not to look a gift Hobbit in the mouth. (Sorry, no actual Hobbits here, though one young character of the Rohirrim tries to fill that void.) Maybe future efforts will learn from this piece’s flaws and offer an improved effort. Or maybe they can just stick to live-action productions, since those are the true, proven winners. That, then, really would be something worth blowing your horn about.

Venom: The Last Dance

It’s actually pretty good when it’s trying to be funny. When it’s trying to be a straight action flick...it’s fairly standard action fare. Conclusion: the whole story arc probably should have leaned much more heavily on the comedy all the way through, instead of in just patches. But then again, I suppose hybridization is the point of the series. And after all, if we’re feeling generous, there is a certain amount of pathos in Eddie and Venom's putative final go-round—if it really comes to that (I have suspicions). Nevertheless, it must be said, there’s never any particular sense of stakes in this story...or anywhere in the series, if we’re being honest and looking at the big picture. And indeed, one strength here is that the picture isn’t actually that big; the running time is just around an hour and a half (brevity has been a strength of this franchise offshoot from the start). So, all in all, this movie is the usual mixed bag, as were its predecessors—no work of genius, but a perfectly serviceable piece of entertainment. It won’t actually get inside you, but at least that means it won’t eat your brain, either. You take what you can get. 

Godzilla Minus One

The most powerful force in this story is context. By portraying the events of the big guy’s incursion into the lives of the Japanese in the immediate postwar era, and making everything exceptionally real throughout, both on the human and kaiju scales, this reboot outing of the venerable franchise delivers a tremendous amount of impact. Seeing these colossal events within the frame of both individuals and a society trying to reestablish some sense of normal being makes the emotional impact more real than any previous movie of this sort has ever delivered. Notable too are the script’s observations on the Japanese nation and government, with some rather sharp remarks indicating that the locals are not exactly thrilled with the way things are going, or have been going, for quite some time. What may stand out most, though, are the action sequences when Godzilla is on the screen; these scenes are absolutely electric, dropping grip-the-arms-of-your-seat thrills like we haven’t seen since, perhaps, the original Jurassic Park. The vision and effects are a true step up in the creation of dazzling mayhem. And yet, you appreciate the journey of the human characters, too. A remarkable accomplishment, one that can be enjoyed by both 11-year-old boys and everyone else, too.

Deadpool & Wolverine

Was this trip really necessary? I’m far from convinced that it was. I won’t say there isn’t any funny in here; there are some real laugh-out-loud moments along the way in this script. But then again, a lot of the story reads like it was copied and pasted from fan fiction posted on message boards. I wasn’t quite sure how and why the main characters were where and what they were at the start of things—I guess I really don’t live and breathe these flicks after all; score one for me—and it never got all that much clearer as things went on. Others may be satisfied with the Easter egg experience of seeing some obscure characters brought into the plot as cameo devices, but that only goes so far in my view. (Dafne Keen’s appearance worked best for me, as her character actually had some relevance to the last time we saw Hugh Jackman as Logan.) And, of course, the over the top violence is fun, for a while. Then it gets numbing, and your mind starts to drift onto other ideas—like, for instance, what is the point to all this besides making money? The answer may not surprise you. Alas, everyone’s favorite unkillable supersomething may live on again and again, until the profit margin grows small enough to invoke the powers that no franchise can resist: studio accountants. I guess that’s the real subtext of this thing. That certainly is the lasting takeaway of this movie. Let’s see how many wisecracks it takes to overcome that.