Mean Girls (2024)

You hear a lot lately about how high school kids are different these days, how all the cliques and stratification and such are no longer the norm in that milieu. Well, if that’s true, the people who make movies and musicals have not caught up to the current secondary school zeitgeist. There’s a remarkable amount of overlap between this story and that ultimate expression of the teenage dramascape, Heathers—which first came into being way back in 1987. True, this work is the derivative of a musical that was based on a movie of the same name from 2004, so perhaps it has a permission slip for being behind the times socially. Or, maybe just maybe, things have never really changed all that much. Whatever the case, this film offers a distinct and enjoyable take on the familiar story of a new girl who tangles with the local power base, here set to a musical score that mostly works, with several strong songs and only a few minor misses with a couple of numbers. The script offers a generous dose of genuine laughs, while the performances of the young ladies are generally first rate (not to mention that the Plastics are gorgeous, which certainly helps the viewer maintain interest). Ultimately, the tale ends with its heart in the right place, all while presenting just enough divergence from the original story to give the new version a sense of being at least a bit fresh. I don’t know if today’s teens really are more accepting and compassionate than they used to be, or if the meanness still reigns, but at least in cinema the genuine still trumps the plastic. 

The Time Machine (2002)

This movie starts off highly unpromising. The immediate impression is one of TV movie production value, if not even lower depths of cheesiness. And the initial setup scenes—including a hastily arranged romantic subplot that ends with an inciting incident—have little in the way of entertainment value. But then, once the plot really kicks into gear, with Guy Pearce making ever further forays along the timeline, the whole story really starts to hum and grows quite engaging, if perhaps not truly engrossing. The future world is actually well conceived, with appropriately stepped up production values and effects to go with. I can’t speak to the physics of the thing—the story’s justifications may ultimately be full of holes—and there’s at least one piece of the future puzzle that comes across as unaddressed, at the very least, if not actually impossible, but as a light work of movie making, this one does its job to an adequate degree. And it clocks in at under two hours, so you won’t feel oppressed by the passage of time as you view. That makes it time mostly well spent. 

Frankenstein (2025)

Director Guillermo del Toro takes a crack at telling a story everybody already knows—or do they? I daresay this exceptionally faithful adaptation of Shelley’s book (as near as I can remember it, having read it many years ago) will have more than a few surprises for those who only know the tale from James Whale’s film, and decades of Halloween decorations and other bastardized versions. More interesting than story setting (mostly, the Arctic) and details (he speaks) for those with broader knowledge are this work’s fascinating philosophical nuances. I’m not sure there’s been an adaption of the book that more clearly represents Victor’s work as not merely madness and hubris but actual outright villainy. That’s an important part of the story and makes it a primary analogy for any number of situations that involve the dangers of arrogance and overreach. From a cinematic standpoint, the most striking feature of this feature is its visual style; the scenes are all feasts for the eyes, especially the picture-perfect examples of gothic-romantic set design. (These sets really give vaulted ceilings a workout.) The script and acting are very good, too. Oscar Isaac does a fine job of being villainous without failing to convey that his character—the bad doctor—doesn’t believe himself to be the problem. Meanwhile, Jacob Elordi plays the creature from grunts to eloquence believably, while mixing in just the right amount of menace when the situation calls for it. This really is a strong candidate for best adaptation of this tale ever. Yeah, acts of creation often go awry, but sometimes they work out just fine. 

Nosferatu (2024)

Gothic hardly covers it. Every frame of this film teems with expressions of the gothic ethos, making it an especially rich and evocative viewing experience, especially if you are familiar with the source materials. It is actually refreshing to see the vampire genre not treated as a mere fashion show for the pretty and perfect but as a story much closer to the folkloric roots of the thing (literally): as a true horror of pestilence, existential fear and death. Romance is underplayed in the face of primal forces—because, after all, we’re talking about a walking corpse here. The cast does a fine job of conveying all of the above with sincerity, and the script stays true to the roots of the tale, yet adds a few interesting twists and at least mildly provocative details. Finally, this film makes the point that horror, though certainly bound to blood and gore at its core, is not necessarily limited to over the top violence, slasher action or shock moments, but that atmosphere can deliver the basics of the genre, when it is done right. I wouldn’t guess what Stoker would have to say about this, but I suspect Murnau would be most pleased to see such a stylish and sophisticated expansion on his earlier masterwork. Great stuff. 

Death on the Nile (2022)

I guess it’s just my lack of affinity for mystery movies, but, while I appreciate the skill with which this film was made, I found something missing here, some way in which this work just didn’t click. On the positive side, there’s no complaints to be made about the presentation; everything looks gorgeous, the cinematography is wonderful, and the Egyptian locations are used to brilliant effect. The performances are also first rate; no one in the cast makes a shambles of it. So what’s the problem? I think it’s the underlying tale. The mystery genre, in this viewer’s view, is one dedicated to an author trying to prove how clever he or she is--frequently without complete success. There’s little real interest in who-dun what here, and the whole scenario comes off as contrived. Also, I don’t think the exploratory plot points regarding Poirot's background and emotional state really add much to the proceedings; that character is there to perform a function in the story--guide the viewer to the resolution--not really to be a part of it. Add in an unwelcome touch of wokeness and there’s enough about this movie that either annoys or rings false, such that it drags down the total experience, despite the movie's positive aspects. You can be forgiven if you decide to skip this trip.

Murder on the Orient Express (2017)

A mystery that has long since been solved is no mystery at all. Hence, if you're making a remake of a mystery movie--especially if it is perhaps the most famous mystery of all time--then obviously that film has to be about something more than solving the case. So it is here, where the heart of the exercise comes in the form of style and personality. Director and lead Branagh comes through in both aspects, delivering a visually sumptuous film while also crafting a lively and fun version of Hercule Poirot. The rest of the cast acquits themselves well, too. The only real issue lies in the writer, believe it or not. Christie's plot and solution, seen through the perspective of a lack of surprise, is frankly absurd and something of a cheat. But, again, this outing is not really about the solution anyway. Go ahead and board the train; you'll have a good enough trip for your ticket price.

Never Say Never Again

At last, the Bond movies project is complete, now that I've re-watched this movie, the rogue production of a remake of Thunderball. A couple of things stand out: one, Sean Connery's appearance here demonstrates in no uncertain terms that Bond actors have to be put out to pasture at a certain point. There's just no getting around the fact that Connery was too old for the role at this point, even though he acquits himself rather well in this outing. The plain fact is, the man in the tux has to have a certain appeal that only a man under a certain age can have. Secondly, this film suffers from its rogue status for one very good reason: the lack of proper licensing meant they could not use the actual James Bond theme for the music, and the absence of those familiar sounds makes a huge difference. It also doesn't help that the movie runs just a bit too long. And, like its model, there's a bit too much underwater work here; the action always seems slower when everyone is hauling around a scuba tank. There's fun stuff, a strong dose of irreverent humor sprinkled throughout, some good action, and some silliness, too. All in all, it's not bad, but it never really had a chance to live up to the best standards of the Bond canon.

The Magnificent Seven (2016)

It's been a long time since I watched Seven Samurai; and I can't remember if I ever even watched the original version of this movie. So really, I can only make assessments on this film in its own right (which is probably as it should be anyway). The immediate impression this film makes is one of absurdity; the opening sequence features a presentation of villainy that exceeds the bounds of psychopathy. It's unrealistic; no one that out of his mind would ever get as far in this world as Peter Saarsgard's Bartholomew Bogue. So the movie starts with a problem right there, and it's a lot to overcome. Fortunately, just when you think 'over-the-top' is going to be the rule of the day, director Antoine Fuqua smartly dials it back--somewhat--and let's the strength of this film--the lead actors--take over. Excellent work by Denzel Washington (of course), Chris Pratt, Ethan Hawke, and Vincent D'Onofrio--as well as very able support from Haley Bennett--give the viewer solid, dimensional anchors upon which to ground one's emotional attachment. You definitely root for this bunch, especially once the (ample) mayhem starts. Lastly, this movie demonstrates why Western movie cliches became cliches: because they work, very well, at least as storytelling elements. It's not without its flaws, and I can't say whether it lives up to its precursors, but on its own terms this is a pretty good movie.

Last Man Standing

A ham-handed remake of A Fistful of Dollars and/or Yojimbo. It's a bad sign from the start when the movie relies on a lot of voice over narration to clue you in to what's going on--especially when neither of its progenitors needed that device. Bruce Willis is all right, but most of the rest of the cast really go over the top and chew the scenery. However, it does deliver a fair amount of entertaining violence, so it's not entirely irredeemable. If you're home some night with nothing better to do and this one comes on the TV, you could do worse.

Bedazzled (2000)

Mostly harmless, occasionally funny. It suffers a bit by its being partly based on the preposterous notion that Brendan Fraser is a geek. (And no, I never did see the original, so I can't judge one versus the other.)

The Adventures Of Rocky And Bullwinkle

So-so update on the classic, "Best Of All" television series. The puns are groaners--naturally--and Robert De Niro is a hoot as the original Fearless Leader. The rest of the cast is just OK, and the story and animation are nothing special.

Jacob The Liar

Funny and sad at the same time; plenty of gallows humor to be found in the WWII Warsaw ghetto setting. Robin Williams does good work as Jacob, a lowly Jew who became the unlikely source of hope for those trapped in the Nazi nightmare. An unfairly overlooked movie.

Doctor Dolittle (1998)

Kind of an off day for Eddie Murphy. Not awful, but could have been better. Kids would probably like it.