RED 2

Significant? Hell no. Enjoyable? Hell yes, especially given that it’s a sequel, and not necessarily one that follows an original that really cried out for a continuation. As it turns out, this crew made the best of what they had, and for a fun, breezy, somewhat dopey time, the result is certifiably good enough. I wouldn’t say, in the end, that this is a flick of any real consequence, and you might not remember much about it after the credits have finished their roll, but you won’t feel bad about having spent these two hours watching this movie. Sometimes, that’s about all you can ask, and all you really need.

RED

An enjoyable romp through mayhem with old people. The film is hardly perfect—a-few of the confrontations feature notably absurd actions on the part of the characters involved, which supplements an amount of general, all-purpose absurdity throughout--but the action is well done and makes a certain amount of warped sense in its own context. It is also worth noting that the story deftly plays both sides of the matter of "black ops," celebrating the concept and its enactors while holding a rather jaundiced view of the thing at the same time. If you’re fairly indulgent of flaws, and are OK with not thinking too much, this flick is worth a couple of your idle, mindless entertainment hours.

Secretariat

This is standard issue, boilerplate Disney movie--little more than you would have seen on the "Wonderful World of Disney" TV program 40 years ago (right when Secretariat was about to go on his historic run). It veers wildly between charming and cartoonish, presents plenty of well-worn schmaltz and platitudes, and--one suspects--fudges not a little bit on the truth. That's not to say that there are no entertaining moments here; a very appealing cast elevates the proceedings by their presence, and insomuch as the film reminds you of the true glory of Big Red, it serves as a worthwhile memorial. But one suspects this could have been a great deal more than it is.

Art School Confidential

'Wry' barely covers it. According to this film, everything you already think about modern art is true, and who's to argue? Overall, the story is slight but honest, it moves briskly, and just enough hearty laughs pop out to make you feel you've gotten your full share of comedy.

The Libertine

Not exactly a laugh riot, though it has its moments. Hell, it's damn near impossible not to have 'moments' in a Johnny Depp film, and this one delivers a couple of nice ones. But they're too few and too disconnected to add up to a good flick--especially when the ending is as much of a downer as you have here. A nice try, but ultimately not really worth it.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Weird. All the jokes are there, almost word for word, yet everything is strangely flat and not nearly as funny as it was on the page. The story starts out faithful, but veers off in some weird directions before coming to an ending which is profoundly false vis-a-vis the books. At least they got the visuals right, and some of the spirit remains. Not worth paying to see, but a forgivable effort. Let your taste for comedic sci-fi be your guide.

Shadow Of The Vampire

Willem Dafoe sucks…and there's your story. A stylishly done bit of horror-satire, with Dafoe as the Nosferatu who literally chews the scenery of John Malkovich's movie-within-a-movie. Don't worry--it's not really scary...just entertaining.