Casino Royale (1967)

Every spy movie has to have some sort of mystery in it. The mystery here: who the hell thought this was a good idea? I mean, it’s not like the legit Bond movies take themselves all that seriously, so how far can you really go in parodying them? The answer to that question is painfully evident here. Every so often this movie raises itself up and achieves a level of extraordinary stupidity; the rest of it is a mishmash of lame, incomprehensible, unwatchable, or some combination of all three. The only moment in the movie that is even within hailing distance of competence is the baccarat scene—and that’s the one part of the script that plays it straight! Otherwise, this is a bomb of staggering proportions, a film that is so bad it can’t even achieve "so bad it’s good." Seriously, I like a spoof as much as the next guy, but this...words fail. At least, as I struggle to find something good to say, I can at least report that a few of the women in the flick are great to look at. So there’s that. Otherwise, yeesh. Your mission: avoid this at all costs.

The Magnificent Ambersons

The often interesting, occasionally riveting second film by Orson Welles and his Mercury players. Many of the brilliant touches first seen in Citizen Kane show here as well, though without the larger than life story to inflate such work in the viewer's consciousness. Here the tale is one of heartbreak's toll, and the impact is more subtle. It's not a complete success--Welles apparently did not have complete directorial control, leading to the sacrifice of almost an hour's worth of scenes--and it won't be to everyone's taste, but film buffs probably owe themselves a look.

Citizen Kane

I recently checked in with this one after a long time, no see. Yeah, it really is that dazzlingly good. Welles was way ahead of his time.

A Man for All Seasons

Yes, good things did happen before you were born--or at least before I was born. It won Best Picture, and I for one wouldn't argue--wonderfully written, well-acted, and beautifully staged. And Thomas More's dilemma--sadly--remains relevant to this day.