It’s kind of an amazing thing: pretty people can be hard to look at when they’re doing smooching scenes, even though being easy on the eyes is the whole point of pretty people—at least as far as the movies go. That’s why it’s actually somewhat helpful that Ana de Armas and Chris Evans spend most of this flick arguing with each other. It eases some of what would otherwise be an uncomfortable burden to watch. And good thing, too, since this film needs all the help it can get. The romance is strained—maybe it’s a thing only the Pretty Perfect People™ can understand, but the progression of the leads’ relationship happens at a preposterous speed. Above that, the larger stakes never seem particularly important, and the spy aspects of the story are about as realistic as your average Bullwinkle cartoon. Boris and Natasha were more believable agents. Also, the musical cues run a gamut from obvious to obvious, wherever the songs are recognizable. At least the action is well done and not even overly cartoonish. But there’s really no significance to this outing; it’s lighter than the barrel of popcorn you would have taken to your seat if this had been given a theatrical release instead of just being an Apple original. Handsome is as handsome does, they say, but how handsome comes across depends a lot upon what the script tells it to do, at least for this viewer. In this case, pretty underwhelming.
