Jungle Cruise

In a lot of ways, this is Disney at its worst. The movie tells a story that has only a shred of relationship to theme park ride--which, by the way, was clearly intended to be in Africa, not the Amazon basin--that is not particularly interesting, is eye-rollingly predictable in oh so many ways (including a ham-handedly telegraphed "they hate each other, they love each other" romantic element), and that ultimately comes across as a cynical and insulting attempt to just grab some cash from film audiences (while obsequiously nodding toward various identity groups). Also, Jesse Plemons is a fine actor, but having him as your ultimate villain--and speaking German half the time at that--is not a good call. If not for the inherent likeability of the leads--Dwayne Johnson and Emily Blunt are not the problem here--a viewer with any self-respect would probably throw flaming projectiles at the screen. At least there's a CGI jaguar to provide some visual appeal. Yeeesh.